Shop Truths, Phrases, Tales; and Outright Lies

[Philip Davies]

Thank you kindly.
This is about corporate imaging.
I walked down the corridor at work one day, and saw that the signs on the office doors had been replaced. It was still “Headmaster”, “Bursar”, “Head of English”, etc.
Nothing wrong with the old labels. It was a re-branding exercise! Unfortunately, since the new signs were smaller and differently proportioned, the shadows of the previous signs remained visible.
Meanwhile, the staff-room, where the management graciously brought distinguished visitors to observe the hoi polloi, retained the original seating, with the ripped upholstery, the greasy 3-piece suites that had been dumped, and the curtains that had remained unwashed since their installation. What an impression that made!
“A foolish people, who lack understanding, who have eyes, but see not...”

[Toolmaker51]

Yup, Phillip, you found the place.
That kind of window dressing, makes you wonder what conditions get full treatment. Here, past 5-10 years, bigger utilities have bought up local utilities, and some dippy committee renames the entire assemblage, "to reflect the larger customer base" nonsense. Result is a made up word, or one that has no logical connection to the product. Always some s**t about bringing savings to customers too. Can never find a disclosure of monies spent on billboards, new letterheads, uniform changes, relabeling vehicles, webpages, every customer adjusting their bill pay records...and zero about jettisoned materials.
I think the real goal disguises monopolies, past lawsuits and tax irregularities.

One shop carried their name 56 years, bought up by out of state corporation. Polled us about prospective names. I posted a picture, brass label on a PEXTO pan brake. Underlining their 'Since 1797' claim, and pointing others not made anymore, but name and value remain.
No one logically changes a winner.

[Philip Davies]

You’re too right!
What set me off recalling past traumas was hearing that the organisation I work for was proposing a cosmetic re-brand. New shop fronts, new work shirts, whole range of stationery, etc.
Now, our function is to supply furniture and household goods to those in need. (Sometimes they are not so needy, but mostly they are. In desperate need.) my work, which I have done since my crack up and early retirement, is furniture repair and shopfitting, by which is meant installation of fittings in commercial premises. But I also collect non ferrous metal or dismantle stuff. This makes a muddle, but they do quite well. In the UK, you can no longer turn up at a scrapyard and come away with cash. They send cheques when I bring them the ticket.
So I am straining my fingers, wearing out tools and I doubt that I get them more than 50p an hour. Meanwhile, the staff who sort the bric a brac are unaware that old brass, pewter etc fetches high money and throw tatty objects into the rubbish, to landfill. All they have to do is keep it for the van guys and bring it to me in the warehouse. I have been telling them this for over a decade.
So the argument goes that the shops look a little bit “tired”.
When they opened their new furniture store, which is actually very presentable to the customers, I partitioned off an office space, reclaiming plasterboard from the alterations. Couldn’t do a ceiling, no money for it. So you have this gloomy interior space where the admin have to sit all day, and WHERE THEY BRING THE INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE , like the mayor and the bishop!
Still it’s all about style, not substance.
Hope you enjoyed this anecdote.
Kind regards
Philip

[Toolmaker51]

I can think of precious few not to appreciate. Oddly enough, here the 'regulars' object to them as well! I know such reinforcement is beneficial, just as airing such mindless activities can do.
Divisive?
I hope so, those complaining about it do not understand individualism.

Meanwhile......last year I tried to buy work uniforms. Pundamnic had slowed any useful production of needed items more than just noticeably. This was playing as I parked in shop lot. Came out with a fraction that I wanted and ready to pay for. Supply and Demand, right? Fired truck up, CD restarted on its own.
Pick the lyrics, so opportune, playing as I swore at the conditions.

James McMurtry "We can't make it here"

Lyrics
There's a Vietnam Vet with a cardboard sign
Sitting there by the left turn line
The flag on his wheelchair flapping in the breeze
One leg missing and both hands free
No one?s paying much mind to him
The V.A. budget?s just stretched so thin
And now there's more coming back from the Mideast war
We can't make it here anymore

And that big ol? building was the textile mill
That fed our kids and it paid our bills
But they turned us out and they closed the doors
'Cause we can't make it here anymore

You see those pallets piled up on the loading dock
They're just gonna sit there ?til they rot
?Cause there's nothing to ship, nothing to pack
Just busted concrete and rusted tracks
Empty storefronts around the square
There's a needle in the gutter and glass everywhere
You don't come down here unless you're looking to score
We can't make it here anymore

The bar?s still open but man it?s slow
The tip jar?s light and the register?s low
The bartender don't have much to say
The regular crowd gets thinner each day
Some have maxed out all their credit cards
Some are working two jobs and living in cars
Minimum wage won't pay for a roof, won't pay for a drink
If you gotta have proof just try it yourself Mr. C.E.O.
See how far 5.15 an hour will go
Take a part time job at one your stores
I bet you can't make it here anymore

And there's a high school girl with a bourgeois dream
Just like the pictures in the magazine
She found on the floor of the laundromat
A woman with kids can forget all that
If she comes up pregnant what'll she do
Forget the career and forget about school
Can she live on faith? Live on hope?
High on Jesus or hooked on dope
When it?s way too late to just say no
You can't make it here anymore

Now I'm stocking shirts in the Wal-Mart store
Just like the ones we made before
?Cept this one came from Singapore
I guess we can't make it here anymore

Should I hate a people for the shade of their skin
Or the shape of their eyes or the shape I'm in
Should I hate ?em for having our jobs today
No I hate the men sent the jobs away

I can see them all now, they haunt my dreams
All lily white and squeaky clean
They've never known want, they'll never know need
Their **** don't stink and their kids won't bleed
Their kids won't bleed in their damn little war
And we can't make it here anymore

Will I work for food, will I die for oil
Will kill for power and to us the spoils
The billionaires get to pay less tax
The working poor get to fall through the cracks

So let 'em eat jellybeans let 'em eat cake
Let 'em eat ****, whatever it takes
They can join the Air Force or join the Corps
If they can't make it here anymore

So that's how it is, that's what we got
If the president wants to admit it or not
You can read it in the paper, read it on the wall
Hear it on the wind if you're listening at all
Get out of that limo, look us in the eye

Call us on the cell phone tell us all why
In Dayton Ohio or Portland Maine
Or a cotton gin out on the great high plains
That's done closed down along with the school
And the hospital and the swimming pool

Dust devils dance in the noonday heat
There's rats in the alley and trash in the street
Gang graffiti on a boxcar door
We can't make it here anymore

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: James Mcmurtry
We Can't Make It Here lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

[Philip Davies]

I appreciate the effort you have gone to with this, my friend. I suppose it is possible to copy & paste to HMT, but my normal method is to copy it out, usually by hand, or 2-fingered typing. Anyway, that’s what i’ll do for the board at work, and someone can find the music.
All good wishes
Philip

[Toolmaker51]

Not been an unpleasant task, building this thread; but it's participation of others making it fly.
While I'm an incredible copy/ paste-ist, it merely compensates for not being a typist. Hoping bulk of our participants appreciate written details at least equal to rambling video. If some entertainment sneaks in, well and good.
Yes, HMT.net is super user friendly regarding post, bookmark, download, and best feature of all, "Edit Post"; providing urge strikes before timer runs out.

[Toolmaker51]

You get spam, I get spam, we all are subjected to phishing, and endless yet unnamed schemes.
This however, current reigning World Champion......If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, blind them with bull****, Uncle Samuel [the salesman] would say.
I recommend cool beverage, crunchy snacks, and a bib or supply of projectile absorbent towels. I swear this is a precise copy/ paste, as received.

Good day,

A remote appointment for Pack Steward for ours logistic firm was brought to start. Our biz offers a very glorious wage and educational pack to do thou as a team member of our camaraderie's evolving and highly effectual biz.

We found yours info via the CareerBuilder site 'n' appreciate that UR knowledge could be potentially useful for the community. If only thou are vibrant about our comradeship's suggestion, please, do not hesitate to compose an e-mail to our camaraderie so our community's Human Resource hosts would be informed about you to uncover to you upward post's description.

Money: $ 4,000 per month.

Given offer is for workers which aren't mind to making work from home.
If you may afford to corporally reside at your dwelling from nine AM to 5 PM, ye can receive revenue of wealth. The essence of our partnership's location is to manage with packs. What shall be included into thine core obligations: have lots out of one addresser, repack them following our fellowship's regulations, & to send out parcels to else destination. Ya'll will seem an unimpeachable operation man at above-mentioned suggestion if thou are a just started to be a mother, a undergrad of Internet way of training, retired, unable to work normally outdoors subject, or the man or woman which hates to depart apartment to make operations for money.

Thou shall not be induced to transact with heavyweight consignments. Generally, you'd locate garment or bijou inside boxes. Learning is established without payment from your side. Everything you all require to obtain the work from our firm is a desktop computer, access to the online space, & printer to be able to print bills of parcels. How much money ya'll will be able to earn relies solely on you – the larger ye function, the more thou obtain. Normally, women that simply start off labor for our camaraderie obtain about 1000 dollars per 7 days.

Are ya'll inflamed by our function? Feel free to write our fellowship via electronic mail. Also, think about staying at house from 9.00 to 5 PM is your obligation to be able to take mentioned function (or, mentioned position is not for you, unfortunately).



No really; all that without salutation or customary sign off.
So naturally, compelled to respond, leading off with a thinly disguised 'Oh Hell Yes, my ship has come IN!"

Re: Well-paid job
F. W.
Wed 6/23/2021 7:19 PM
Really? Do you sense my excitement at such a lucrative offer?
I can already see my first day in the office................
Teaching you decent English composition, you twit.
I'd be there already, but must relieve commitment of current task. I'm sending bull**** spam emails, though clearly not the level you've attained.

[Frank S]

And to think all along I was under the impression that due to my poorly controlled dyslexia that I was the world's worst wordsmith. I Really got a good laugh out of this one I did for sure.
The composer of said email reminds me of someone who has learned English as their 2nd or 3rd language with only a mediocre command of the usage or meanings of pronouns, found access to an online Thesaurus containing 17th century colonial mannerisms, not fully comprehending their very dated usage in common everyday language.

[Toolmaker51]

That might be the case, a mixed up jumble of translation, regional terms, and who knows what else. I can't stereotype any clear nationality out of it, there's a lot, but nothing Hispanic.
Occurred to me while reading [trying to], the Package Manager spam of old is worldwide, meaning whatever language it originated in, been stretched way out of shape many times.
I'm thinking some inventive dipstick ran his Elbownian [a famous Dilbert nationality] version through google translate wringer, plus his own touches, for this work of art

[Toolmaker51]

Can't imagine any comment........

amplifies this.