Shop Truths, Phrases, Tales; and Outright Lies

[MeJasonT]

are bombarded on 4 sides by all kinds of language, sayings and dialect. I enjoy it guys, keep it coming! This time a webpage detailed the change in English across Britain. quick paste of result;

I'm impressed with your interest and dedication.
I read with interest the web finds especially the Carlisle one (some 4 miles from my house).
I cant believe spelk is non existent, my partner is from Liverpool (Lancashire) and she uses the word spelk.
Interestingly Speel is to spin a yarn or ditty (talk crap basically) and spool is a bobbin used in mills for fabric production again Lancashire, Yorkshire, Derby and generally the midlands of UK where the Victorian factories made cotton fabric etc. Spell is one i've heard but not used very much - we call little pieces of sea glass found on a beach spells which has two sources a word used by persons in Derby perhaps for a splinter and connotations of witchcraft - The origin being the friend from Derby we were beach combing with when we decided to adopt her word for sea glass. Sea glass being the very small smooth washed pieces of coloured glass found between the high and low water (tide) marks.
I have come across a few weird sayings in my time involving local dialects. One guy came out with (tin tin tin) as in - It ain't in the tin cant remember the origin off hand, think it was welsh? we have a saying in Cumbria "warrist" for what is it. Like you dialects fascinate me however I have so much other stuff to learn and make its not very high on my list of things to do. We have had Mike Rowe's programs televised over here and the man is a genius, our free view television service has at least 5 US channels transmitting so thankfully we do get to watch some good tv occasionally instead of BBC period dramas (period being the the perfect word to describe some of it - or menstruation if you wish to use a non local dialect slang description). Otherwise known as watching paint dry.
I watched one of Mike's shows where he went into a sewer filtration system to unblock some pumps, it handled all the sewerage for one of your major cities. The item he removed if i remember was the skull of a horse. all this diving 20+ feet fully kitted as a diver in zero vis. Those guys deserve their money, in fact probably more.

We are getting a TV series starting on Tuesday regarding the factories that built the war. I think the first one is of a factory that built US bombers - i get the impression it will make a lot of reference to Henry Fords production lines/methods. The line on the advert was that a plane left the production line every 3 hours? Not watched it yet so trusting my old grey matter hard drive to remember the advert - um challenging.

[Frank S]

While we are on the subject of English words and sayings
have a look at this Pare of the reason why so many of us are misunderstood is our words have too many meanings depending on how they are pronounced but pronunciation is difficult to portray in type. Many words in other languages have gender assignments to them depending on how they are vocalized or accented as they are spoken as well

Click to make larger

[MeJasonT]

I incorrectly had the view as to why we call machines, ships etc "she" based on French having its language constructed on gender. Guess what, I was wrong again.
Some of the objects turned out to be male. The the origin of our language coming from Latin imposed upon us by Constantine and the catholic churches doctoring only to be written off by Henry VIII in his desire to rid himself and the England of Catholics with the language going back to Olde English ( basically a mix of local dialects, Paganism and common tongue).
Its as difficult for us to learn the European languages as it is for them to learn English.
(Before any Scots get offended, The Country as a whole was globally known as England long before the British isles became re branded as the United Kingdom. so i use the term English to encompass us all, as it is politically correct - same as i use the word man to indicate spices and not to be sexist so get back in your box Mary).

If you have ever converted English in to a foreign language in google and then translate it back you get the impression that the subject of your conversation has been lost somehow. Something on the grounds of I milked the cow where the term milked perhaps has another meaning or gets lost in translation resulting in you doing harm to the poor creature instead. made up but you get my point. Those DIY instructions for self build furniture from Chinese to English are an absolute classic. Translated from English to Chinese and then back to English how may levels or error can be imported into those instructions.

The internet has provided us with a wonderful opportunity to learn languages, i myself can now understand a few words of German, French and even Russian.
who would have thought that an old Doris Day film would become one of the first French words we would learn "Que Sera, Sera" most of us have known it all our lives. Whilst writing this last paragraph i discovered that google is anti French it allows you to type in french without correcting the capital letter how strange and disrespectful is that.

It would be in error if I did not mention my almost identical knowledge of American with that of my native tongue.
I have had many occasions where i have had to correct my international colleagues when they have stated the the English are lazy, why do we not learn other languages, what makes us so special. I correct them by stating the fact that they are forced to learn American not English, Thanks to the Internet and the Bill Gates foundation Inc ( or Micro-soft-in the head). In order to learn from the internet one has to connect to the content and as it was developed in the West (America and England the new non EU continent, hi brothers nice to be acquainted with you) The language of said content was American. If you invent the technology you are not going to use Spanish as the language if you don't speak it just because it and Mandarin are the most spoken languages in the world. The individuals who have made this incorrect assumption have been predominately French who insist the British are arrogant, Pot and kettle springs to mind.
You have many interesting local dialects in the US also need I mention Kentucky where such wonderful deep american saying are used perhaps occasionally mixed with a little hint of Africarns or perhaps even deeper to include some Dutch.

I recently heard a conversation on the radio by Stephen Fry (Actor) where he was asked about punctuation. He happens to be quite a philosopher when it comes to the English language. He mentioned how he gets sucked into pointless discussions about "Freds Fish Shop" and weather it should have a hyphen or not. He stated that he tries to avoid such friends and discussions where they try to involve him in policing language. He said that the world is a wonderful place where people of all backgrounds converse with language which sets us far apart from other spices and shows our true individual expression. He felt that all language should be embraced as its uniqueness was what made it so special.

He also mentioned how rigid the French Language is and how there is a political consensus of maintaining that standard.

I still have not found a suitable replacement for the verb " F*** " it to has gender, he does, it she does it Its f--- etc
to say that those using bad language are un educated is not entirely correct - look we use it as a verb and quite positively construct meaningful sentences from it, it even has gender. i have formed a very well rounded opinion of Scholars over the years and find most themselves to be the most uneducated, i also include managers and politicians in this category. Preferring straight talkers instead.

The humour of Monty Python is written on such play of words, it requires the listener to finish the conversation using their own imagination and is the main reason why other cultures don't share the humour as there life experiences are different to the British culture. A perfect example is "The Office" the guy is a hated stereo type in the UK narcissistic to the core and believes he is gods gift, I'm sorry but the guy they used in the US was simply lame in comparison. I don't know if you found him funny but on a British scale he would be signing on for benefits as a comedian.

i did have pleasure whilst working out in Tunisia to gift a friend of mine a DVD box set of "Father Ted" - which is a comedy based around priests and the church. I do suspect that I may have accidentally started the Muslim rising in Tunis.

[MeJasonT]

I want to change the subject and go back to lathes and building planes.

[Toolmaker51]

Just a couple decades back, this internet thing really got its steam going. Along with epic sharing of knowledge, whether factual or not, is how a viewpoint can be common to an incredible number of totally unrelated persons. Like most specialties, it has [gasp] a unique expanding vocabulary. Like deprecating 'noob' magnifies and worsens into 'n00b'.
I guarantee this will cause some to lol, rofl, lmao, and at least one who'll C|N>K.
TeeHee
Ooops,forgot the link. https://www.ruf.rice.edu/~kemmer/Wor..._internet.html

[Toolmaker51]

Some of the best movie scripts emulate classic authors. My favorite, Rudyard Kipling, for example The Man Who Would Be King.

Daniel Dravot lectures his Er-Heb recruits while Billy Fish translates....
Now listen to me, you benighted muckers! We're going to teach you soldiering, The world's noblest profession! When we're done with you, you'll be able to stand up and slaughter your foes like civilized men! But first, you will have to learn to march in step. And do the manual of arms without even having to think! Good soldiers don't think, they just obey! Do you suppose that if a man thought twice, he'd give his life for Queen and Country? Not bloody likely! He wouldn't go near the battlefield! One look at your foolish faces tells me that you're going to be crack troops. Ohhh him there with the five-and-a-half hat size has the makings of a bloody hero!

Peachy Carnehan to Billy Fish, on Daniel's apparent invincibility....
Danny's only a man. But he can break wind at both ends simultaneous — which is more, I reckon, than any god can do!

[Frank S]

Many years ago or I should say more than half a dozen decades ago I began a trek what this trek was or where it might carry me I had no awareness. I wasn't even aware of being on a trek. For years I have told the story of my starting out in the world of labor as a humble beginnings at a blacksmith shop at the tender age of 11. However through the passage of time I realize I actually started much younger than that. Nearly a decade younger as difficult as one's comprehension of a boy as young as 1 or 2 years of age actually being the beginning of their life long career. However this is actually true at least I believe it to be true. That one can be set on a path which would be the path they follow throughout their lives.
These are by no means my own memories that I am about to share but the telling's of my parents and friends of theirs who knew them when I was still in nappies.
You see my mother worked my Grandfather worked my grandmother kept house both theirs and the houses of others. Obviously my dad worked as well. and it was he who took care of me during the day while at his job much of the time since my mother could not care for me at her job far too dangerous to have a baby crawling around at a drycleaners with the chemicals and live steam presses everywhere.
Now you might ask what kind of job my dad had that allowed him to care for an infant Well he was a mechanic not the movie portrayal of a mechanic like Charles Bronson or Jathan Stathan though being a retired gunny sgt he certainly could have qualified as one had he chose to. No he was an automobile and truck mechanic, and what he would do was to make a pallet of an old wool blanket on the floor for me then give me items like carburetors distributors and tools to play with. I am told and I believe a still living Aunt of mine has a few pictures of me playing with my toys. This lasted for several well maybe not several but a few years. I do think that I remember my dad tossing a guy out of his shop because he had drug me off of the blanket or maybe I was old enough at the time by then that I had wandered off the blanket to get some tool that a guy had picked up from it I was probably around 3 ish I guess by then. I'm sure I pretty much had the run of the place but was always told to stay on the blanket to play with the toys OK most of you guys had children's toys to play with mine were car or engine parts and tools.
Skip forward a couple years And this I do remember. Why do I remember it because it was my first visit to a dentist I had knocked a tooth out and my mouth was bleeding So pop had to carry me to see the big guy wearing a white jacket. while sitting in the chair I was staring at a picture on his wall of an airplane and a man in uniform standing by it.
That's my son and that is the plane that he fly's he said.
Oh I said. I bet I can make one of those. Mind you I'm not yet 5 years old, The dentist just laughed and said that I have to see. I went to the mechanics shop once in a while with my dad and there is no pallet any more but a table and chair for me to work on the carburetors only now I'm taking them apart and putting them back together obviously not the ones pop is going to be re installing on a car. The next day at the shop I grab a pair of snips and some card board and some wire and nails I sat down and cut out what I thought the shape of the DC3 in the picture looked like then bent the cardboard into a cylindrical shape made wings rolled some cardboard to look like the engines wired everything together. By the time my stitches were due to come out I carried that plane with me..
Skip forward 20 odd years After leaving the Army I take the wife and kids on a trip down memory avenue we drive to Austin I show her and my girls the hospital where I am told I was born. my oldest had one of those little Kodak 110 cameras and was snapping away taking pictures of the sights and the capital I told her she should save some of her film because there might be something she really wanted to get a picture of but what to 6 year olds know? Today with the cameras in every phone that can hold a zillion pictures that wouldn't be a problem LOl
anyway we drive by a dentistry. I wonder if that is the same place where I had to go as a kid I asked so on a whim I decided to stop and inquire sure enough it was and there on a wall was a picture of the cardboard plane next to the guy picture in the plane. I asked one of the nurses if the model still existed.
No she said at least she didn't think it did.
My oldest daughter is furious because she had just ran out of film and didn't have another roll.
Skip forward a few more years I am designing and building a drilling rig while working for a guy he breaks off a bolt on his motorcycle and starts to drill it out I tell him that I can get it out without risking damage to the threads. SO I grab a stinger and a nut then weld the nut to the bolt and remove it. Where did you learn that trick?
at the blacksmith shop I used to work at as a kid about 15 years ago I told him.
Skip forward a few more years I perfected the art of removing broken bolts broke off deep down in the holes while working on cat equipment. I say perfected I must have removed close to a 1000 bolts like that over the years but sometimes I would mount an assembly in a mill and mill out the bolts leaving only the Dutchman (just the threads)
The day before yesterday my neighbor calls me up before I have finished my first cup of morning coffee.
Frank my brother can you help me out?
I don't know you haven't told me what it is yet.
I've been 2 days trying to get this bolt out of a hydraulic pump. I've managed to weld out 3 of them with the stud puller rod but 1 I can't get.
I'll be over in a couple minutes.
Coffee cup in hand I show up at his place a mile away. Yeah I think I can salvage it for you but you have already done a lot of damage to the housing at least you haven't gotten into the o ring seat though so it will still be OK.
His customer is standing there and as we really need this thing as soon as possible if it can be fixed I'm the one who drilled and ground into the housing Billy took out the other 3 bolts for me.
Ok so you are the bad guy here I said.
Yeah and we can't get a new pump for a couple of weeks.
I bring the pump back to my place and set up my mill they have already do so much damage I didn't dare try and weld out the bolt my mill is just tall enough to get the pump under an end mill and only that because I had one that I bought at auction that had been sharpened a few times.
Anyway I get it repaired around dark Billy and he show up early the next morning to pick it up.
then lo and behold Billy calls me again this morning the same guy who I found out is a mechanic for a company has something else with broken bolts in it .
What are they doing with their equipment I asked using them for battering rams Billy just laughs and says I'm not even going to try to get these bolts out Mike has already drilled them and broken off an ezeout and I have to be somewhere else can you or will you take a look at it for him. Yeah tell him to bring it by I'll see what I can do.
2 hours later the bolts are out and Mike is happy I hope next week is not a repeat.

[Toolmaker51]

Epic. Like a good song, it writes a mental video.
Mine is completely different, no one in my past did work related to the trades. It took interest and energy finding the inbound pathway. But it started with the autobiography on John M. Browning.
Despite recent disappointments, if going back was possible, I'd do the same. Really put thought into progressing every day, some are just incremental steps. Also learned, in many of our negative personal situations, we're equipped to remedy those on our own.
If not, you've wasted your effort; regardless what seems like success.

[Toolmaker51]

Work or play, nearly the same for me.
Right now though, I'm trying to branch out.
Ordered a stretcher-shrinker.
Arrived today.
Turns out, not being a marital aid. . .

[Frank S]

Work or play, nearly the same for me.
Right now though, I'm trying to branch out.
Ordered a stretcher-shrinker.
Arrived today.
Turns out, not being a marital aid. . .

I suppose one could be used in that fashion but you and the receiving person would have to be heavily into the BDSM scene.
might me more of a divorce aid than marital though