Comedy of errors

[jdurand]

In preparation for moving, we closed our business on 30 June.

Or so we thought.

The state has a simple form to close your business, tick here and here and if you're still paying off bills, explain on a separate page.

Did all that, they rejected it because we're paying off bills as we wind up the bank account. I didn't know you could have your closing rejected.

Anyway, filled it out differently and sent it back. So far silence.

We're done, right?

Wrong.

I just received an order through Squareup.com. But we closed our account there. How can someone place an order if we don't have an account?

I tried to contact Squareup. You have to log into your account to do that. Which is closed.

I got a notice of the login attempt so used their "suspicious activity" reporting form, at least I didn't have to log in. I told them to contact the customer and explain that Squareup doesn't know what they're doing, the store closed at the end of June.

Not part of the business, but we sold our house on July 7th. Sort of.

The escrow company ("biggest in the country") wouldn't tell the buyer how to wire the money to them.

A week later the buyer drove a certified check to their office and handed it to them.

A few days later the escrow company sent us the form to say all is well, close escrow.

They had a typo in the sale price.

I told them.

Back to silence. Hello, anyone there? Could we have our money, please?

Days later the real estate broker printed out the corrected form to say all is well, close. The buyer signed it and drove it to us. We signed it and the buyer drove it to the escrow company.

The escrow company said they were wiring us the money.

I asked if they would like our bank info or if they had ESP?

We got the money.

Real estate broker sent the buyer over with a bunch of forms to sign, mostly California stuff like we're supposed to tell the buyer every repair made on the house since we got it.

Forms signed that we've told them everything, given them the required PDF booklets from various agencies.

The buyer is ready to cry. We're just adding it as a chapter to our story about moving (getting pretty long).

Ok, time to almost begin to close, the escrow company sent a mobile notary to our house mid afternoon with a stack of documents. The buyer met us there and we signed them all out of the back of a car.

Notary left, we chatted with the buyer for some time. Nice people.

A bit after 4pm I (and I assume the buyer) received an urgent message from the escrow company, they haven't received the fees we owe, they need them wired to them by 5 or all the numbers change!

What fees?

There was a statement in all those papers the notary had you sign. That's due immediately. The fees change every day so if either the buyer or seller doesn't wire us the money we have to start over!!!!!!

I informed them that the bank was closed, and even if open, I couldn't get a wire to them in time. I also don't have their wire info, it's not on the statement (found it buried in the stack of papers).

Hello? Anyone there?

The next day they said they got the money from the buyer and we needed to get our money in TODAY.

I asked HOW I get them the money. It's only a few hundred $, could we drive it over.

waiting...

we went to the store, I watched my phone, no messages.

Got home.

Our accountant was having a computer problem, I drove to her office in nearby town.

Late afternoon, escrow contacts me, we need to pay before 5pm! Take a check to the office closest to your home.

I contacted my wife at home, grab checkbook and get over there. Wait, she's already sold her car. A neighbor drove her over.

Walks into the lobby, a lot of people working, not a single one wearing a mask. No distancing, two people sharing a computer monitor working on a problem, etc.

Hello?

The person who came over didn't want to get close enough to my wife (who had a mask) to take the statement. My wife put the statement on the counter and backed off. The employee looked at the paper, had no idea what it meant or what to do about it.

Several phone calls later they have the up to the minute fee we owe, my wife writes the check and puts it on the counter.

With trepidation the employee takes the check and statement and returns with a "receipt", a photocopy of the statement and they check.

That's it?

So, waiting for the next shoe to drop.

[jdurand]

Almost forgot the other shoe...

So, we sent part of the house money to our overseas account. The wire left our account here with no problem.

Then got paused in transit. Not unexpected question of where did you get this much money.

I sent them the required bank statement showing the wire deposit.

Not good enough, the statement must show who and why the transfer was from. My bank said that's all they print on statements, sorry.

I sent a page from the sale contract from escrow showing the wire amount.

Not good enough. "Your house sold for" and they gave a number WAY wrong, by half a million! "Where's the rest of the money?"

I resisted telling them it was none of their business where the rest is. I did, however, suggest that a financial person read more carefully, a half million dollar error is not something they should do.

I then sent them the entire sale contract and asked if they needed to know the buyer's children's middle names too?

They unfroze the transfer.